Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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