New low: just hacked my moms facebook
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Randomize
