ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
