My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
