four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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