i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize