Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize