Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize