dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
where are my eyebrows?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
