Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
