i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just tell him i said nine months
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize