Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish I only lived at night.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
