Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
