are you still at the devil's house?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
