Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
