His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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