my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
