I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Drunk is a universal language darling
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
