i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
