Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
