Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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