these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
