Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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