So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
