dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
