Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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