Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
50% drunk capacity currently
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
