no, he came in my armpit
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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