yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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