I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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