The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
pop tarts are not kleenex
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
