Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
