SEEEEXXX PLEASE
He had one of those small greek statue penises
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
