i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
