Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
