Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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