problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize