My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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