in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
