Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
