I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize