shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
