Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
