Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
