Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
