Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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