How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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