At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
