so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
