i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
