We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Oh god it's open bar.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
