singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
