I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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