girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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