It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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