I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
