i think my tv is drunk
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
