Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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