Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
