fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
