we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
