YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
