I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
