I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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