i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
