So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
