I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
