I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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